Sometimes, New York's funky adjunct Connecticut gets a little uppity.
Okay, so CT was colonized a few years before NY. They have Yale, we have settle for Columbia. The Fundamental Orders were a nifty first draft for the Constitution. But claiming the title "Pizza Capital of the United States" is like the proposed Long Island Sound bridge: never gonna happen.
Just because Julia Roberts starred in a pizza movie in one of Connecticut's cutesy bed & breakfast towns forty years ago doesn't mean Gov. Ned "I put Covid+ patients in nursing homes too" Lamont gets to steal New York's thunder with some cheesy new highway signs. Yeah, yeah, pun intended.
This is tryhard:
"Basketball"? Uh, maybe specify college ball, but we'll let that slide. "Submarine"? Okay, that's pretty cool. "Foodie"? You're giving Millennial, bro.
But pizza? And don't come at me with the Barstool Sports guy. What does a guy named Portnoy know about pizza? Suffice to say, he quietly dropped his lawsuit against Business insider...if you know, you know. Let's hear from a paesan at least, Mamma Mia!
Look, we like parts of Connecticut. Greenwich, Stamford, and New Canaan are beautiful...but the politics sound as bad as here in the city. And it's where our bosses live. It's where we'd go if we aspired to belong to a yacht club.
So someone up there tell Lamont to friggin relax and stop chopping down old-growth trees. Don't tell me, they're for his brick oven, right? Fuggedaboutit.
