The Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, held annually on the third Thursday of October, is the kind of event that allows politicians to be momentarily human. To relax...sort of. To show a degree of humanity. Remember: at the end of the day, it's for Catholic charities!
There is one requirement, apart from the dress code and forced smiles: you have to show up.
One candidate walked into the Waldorf Astoria last night, hometown icon Donald Trump. His rival, Kamala Harris, appeared via a pre-recorded segment featuring Molly Shannon, a cast member of Saturday Night Live in the late nineties.
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In a nod to the dinner's Catholic charity mission, Shannon pulled an SNL skit character out of the mothballs: neurotic schoolgirl Mary Catherine Gallagher. Shannon, 60, did her level best, but it was cringe-inducing.
It's one thing to not show up, but another altogether to lean on a prop. It speaks to the dismal state of affairs in the Harris campaign, which has suffered several bruises in the past two weeks.
Donald Trump was happy to shed light on some of those mishaps. A couple of highlights:
"There's a group called 'White Dudes for Harris', have you seen this?...but I'm not worried about them at all, because their wives and their wives' lovers are all voting for me."
"A major issue in this race is childcare, and Kamala has put forward a concept of a plan...the only piece of advice I have for her in the event that she wins, would be not to let her husband Doug anywhere near the nannies."
Later, Trump stepped out of his roasting character, set the jokes aside, and in a moment of pure disdain, let former Mayor Bill de Blasio have it.
"We have another former New York City mayor with us tonight...frankly, easily the worst in our history...I'm surprised that Bill de Blasio was actually able to make it tonight...He was a terrible mayor, I don't give a shit if this is comedy or not...He did a horrible job. That's not comedy, by the way--that's fact."
Comedian Jim Gaffigan hosted the event amiably, and did a reasonable job of standing on the otherwise unoccupied patch of middle ground. All in all, the event was a resounding success for Trump. He even plugged his wife Melania's eponymous book, which recently moved into the number one spot on the New York Times' notoriously inaccurate bestseller list, which Trump lampooned.
"That's not an easy thing to do," The Donald quipped, "especially when your name is Trump...that thing must be selling like hotcakes."
ps: for a real bestseller list, check out The Manhattan's accurate compendium of great literature!
