Excuse us while we stoop to give the Second City a nice, fat Bronx cheer.
Carl Sandburg's "City of the Big Shoulders"? More like city of Bull Sh*tters. When they're not underreporting violent crime to the FBI, they're electing a DEI mayor to replace the one who looked like she belonged in an aquarium.
That's right, Chicago finally flushed Lori "Beetlejuice" Lightfoot down the toilet last year. Many breathed a sigh of relief: anyone will be better. Then we collectively discovered that the new guy, Brandon Johnson, possesses three skills: over-enunciating in order to sound intelligent, growing white hair exclusively out of his chin, and raising taxes.
Well since the Illinois Supreme Court wants to reverse Jussie Smollett’s conviction, it’s only right to remind y’all how much of an idiot criminal this guy is. We will never forget Jussie. 😂😂😂😂🇺🇸
— Common Cent$ (@Common_Cent1) November 21, 2024
pic.twitter.com/EqhOUKesId
But we digress. We are gathered here today to marvel at the unblushing, callous, petty piece of work that is the Chicago Machine. The Illinois Supreme Court has overturned Jussie Smollett's 2019 conviction for organizing a hate crime hoax.
As reported in "Chicago's very own", WGN9:
Smollett was convicted of falsely reporting a 2019 hate crime against him in 2021. Smollett, who is Black and gay, alleged his attackers shouted racist and homophobic slurs at him before putting a noose around his neck on a freezing night in Streeterville. He was found guilty of five counts of disorderly conduct for setting up the attack. Testimony at his trial indicated he paid two brothers, whom he knew from the set of the TV show, $3,500 to carry out the “attack.” But prior to his conviction, Cook County State’s Attorney Kim Foxx initially dropped his 16 charges in Apr. 2019 — which is the basis of Thursday’s Supreme Court ruling. Foxx, who recused herself from the case after she communicated with a Smollett relative during the probe, reiterated that she welcomed of an independent investigation into the way she and her office handled the case. That came in Aug. of 2019, when Cook County Judge Michael Toomin’s appointed former U.S. attorney Dan Webb as special prosecutor.Previous: Jussie Smollett found guilty on 5 of 6 counts of disorderly conduct Webb led the prosecution efforts the second time around and Smollett was found guilty of five of six disorderly conduct charges on Dec. 9, 2021. Smollett was sentenced to 150 days in jail, 30 months of probation, and ordered to pay more than $130,000 in restitution. So far, he has served six days of that sentence.
TL/DR? They're letting Smollett off the hook for almost starting a race war. He doesn't have to pay his fine, and he served less than a week in jail after complaining bitterly.
Crucially, the Obamas got involved in this one. Back in 2019, CDMedia reported on the case:
It would be as monumentally transparent as having Tina Tchen, former assistant to Barack Obama, chief of staff for Michelle Obama, and “leading voice in the national conversation on fighting sexual harassment, gender equality and discrimination" seek to influence the Jussie Smollet case. But that's what happened. From behind the scenes, the Obamas sought to save Jussie, placing a proxy finger on the scales of justice.
Bathhouse Barry stepped up to save one of his own. Tchen is close friends with Obama's Rasputin, Valerie Jarrett, who is also close with Kim Foxx, the State's Attorney who initially refused to prosecute Smollett. The coterie of legal eaglettes even had a secret fundraiser for Smollett in late 2019.
And the Obama fingerprints are on this chapter as well. Barack may be underemployed soon, but if there's one place he always presides over, it's Chicago. After firing every weapon in his arsenal at president-elect Donald Trump for the past eight years, all that's left are petty grievances. This is Obama's tiniest tantrum: getting his gay, black actor friend officially out of trouble.
Take that, Orange Man!
But it's darker than that when we consider the timing: tying up loose ends is on everyone's mind. Crooked Alejandro Mayorkas, the magical Jewish Cuban who oversaw the mass voter smuggling operation border crisis, is hinting at stepping down early in exchange for immunity for his high treason.
BREAKING: DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas is reportedly negotiating his exit and wants to leave immune from any potential investigations from the Trump Administration. pic.twitter.com/zaiN9ngQlj
— Ian Jaeger (@IanJaeger29) November 21, 2024
Is Obama really so petty? Is Smollett even worth the political capital spent to save him? No, and yes. Because Jussie Smollett, all jokes aside, was a big loose end.
If you wanted to start a race war designed to destabilize a popular presidency as an election drew near, how would you do it?
Maybe reach out to a black actor, who also happens to be good friends with your most trusted advisor? A trained actor would be so much more likely to pull it off.
Maybe float the idea to him that he would be a hero to his people if he managed to pull off a stunt fight? After all, Obama is every impressionable liberal's father figure. Who better to ask the favor?
Maybe hint, strictly off the record, that he should find some friends to help him carry out the hoax?
Oh, and make sure they buy some MAGA hats.
Sure, it's pure speculation. But consider what the Smollett hoax could have been. Remember, there were security cameras that looked, to the untrained eye, to be pointed at the scene of the fake attack. In fact, both were pointed in the opposite direction--Smollett was in an increasingly rare CCTV-free zone.
That one detail may have prevented nationwide riots. The lack of proof made the story instantly suspicious. Cooler heads prevailed without the immediate effect of visual proof. People started to ask themselves questions, a la the Dave Chappelle video clip above.
Try to clear your head of all that has happened in the interim, and ask what could have been. And what came next? Saint George Floyd. The weird backstory, the fake $20 bill, the fentanyl, the questionable police work of Derek Chauvin, and the overnight resurgence of the mothballed BLM, the highly coordinated DEI and critical race theory movements--all while we were trapped in our own homes due to Covid.
The plandemic was, in fact, twofold: Covid got us locked down in March of 2020. Then "two weeks to slow the spread" turned into an eon. And then Floyd landed in our collective living room, high as an Elon rocket and jonesing for a Newport.
And he would not go away. The longer he lay there, the more he stank.
Remember when Nancy Pelosi and her Democratic colleagues knelt for 8 minutes and 46 seconds to honor George Floyd?
— Riley Gaines (@Riley_Gaines_) November 16, 2024
I wonder how many of them will kneel for 18 minutes to honor Laken Riley... pic.twitter.com/HD32XwpdpI
Remember? It was two months after lockdown. National virus panic deepening. Schools closed, so families were losing their minds trying to balance their kids' virtual classrooms while trying to fit wooden dowels in their new Ikea home office furniture, all while wearing masks made in China.
And to think it all happened not much longer than a year after the failed Jussie hoax.
Our guess is that Smollett--weary after nearly five years in legal limbo, and frightened at what a Trump administration might do to him--threatened to talk. So Obama pulled some strings, and the Chicago Machine made some indistinct whirring and clicking noises, and Valerie!...er, Voila! Jussie free at last!
It stings. To those of us who watched it closely and wondered how this moderately famous young man had so many rare-air Dem friends, it stinks as well. The silver lining: Jussie's last big turn as an actor was off camera. Since then, it's been curtains for the man who, caught red-handed, had the temerity to say the following in front of a judge:
"I am not suicidal. If I did this, then it means that I stuck my fist in the fears of black Americans in this country for over 400 years, and the fears of the LGBTQ community...but I did not do this!"
OK Juicy.
