What Is "Canada" Anyway?

February 5, 2025
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X screencap.

O, Canada...Honestly

What adjectives come to mind when you contemplate Canada?

A list we compiled:

  • Quirky
  • Nice
  • Passive
  • Liberal
  • Euro-wannabe
  • Wimpy
  • "One big Minnesota"
  • Fractured ("normal", plus Quebcois, plus indigenous)
  • Vast

For all of that brainstorming on Canucks, we're left with an overall feeling of vagueness. What is that wide, cold swath that sits atop the US like one of those furry Russian hats?

Many of us miss the simpler time, effortlessly associating Canada with The Band or Joni Mitchell. Neil Young baring his soul to the haunting strains of "Helpless" painted the perfect northern image: "Big birds flying across the sky/ Throwing shadows on our eyes".

President Gerald Ford wearing a ushanka, edits ours (Public Domain).

Historically, it has been a long and peaceful allyship, post-War of 1812, anyway. We share the longest border--5,525 miles--between any two countries on earth. We even let Canada play basketball, hockey, and baseball in our professional leagues. Not football though. There are limits.

Of course, Canada is top of mind given the recent tariff wrangling between outgoing PM Justin Trudeau and President Donald Trump. Perhaps the clash between their personalities is a caricature of modern relations between our countries.

But this relationship--friendship?--isn't reducible to one pair of leaders. There is an echo effect that rings through recent centuries, a sort of "spot the difference between the images" exercise on a grand scale. Bacon vs. Canadian ham, metric vs. Imperial, adding a 'u' to certain wourds...there exists a stubborn Canadian refusal to assimilate. Clearly, we have struggled to put our finger on what *it* is that separates us from our northern brethren.

That is, until Monday, when journalist Anna Slatz--herself a Canadian--illuminated the subject in her signature style (which is to say, insightful, concise, and unapologetic). In a 4-tweet thread, she managed to define the Canadian ethos in juxtaposition to America, which, it turns out, is the only space in which their identity exists.

Dear reader, take the time to appreciate the below [NSFW language]:

So: that Canadian friend of yours? You know, the one who comes to the party with your friends, laughs a bit uncomfortably at boisterous jokes, smiles through the "aboot" accents and Terrance & Phillip jokes your friends employ when they discover he's from Canada, and leaves early?

That guy secretly hates you.

Or at least he hates your American-ness. Your Teddy Roosevelt brow, your Springsteen growl, your tanned, blonde girlfriend. Deep down, maybe he wishes he could roll coal in a Dodge Cummins diesel and stop pretending that "O, Canada" is even in the same league as the "Star-Spangled Banner", but he cannot. He exists only in his opposition to those things.

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As a result, he will be shunted off his land the same way indigenous people are often removed from theirs: not only by armed conflict, but from more aggressive invaders elbowing their way in and slowly subsuming the culture.

For those who don't like clicking on tweets, here's the corpus of her argument.

The Canadian superiority complex towards Americans is reinforced by other countries who encourage Canada's reliance on identifying as "not America" by associating it with "good." Every single Canadian, at some point in their life, has been told to loudly advertise their Canadianness when they go to other countries ("wear a maple leaf pin! wear a Canada t-shirt!") to avoid being mistaken as American. We are told this will result in being treated better. We are told that everyone likes Canadians (because we are not American). We are told that our friendliness and worldliness are what differentiate us from Americans. This has been a form of soft grooming. By placing "America" into the constant pejorative and being told Canada is good by virtue of not being America, Canadians have actively worked to be unlike America. Because, again, this is the only identity Canadians are permitted to have. Strong borders are coded as American, thus verboten. Strong cultural values are coded as American, thus verboten. A strong military is coded as American, thus verboten. Passionate political dynamics are also coded as American, and thus verboten. The global chorus of "you don't want to be like America do you?" has been the manipulative undertone driving so much of Canada's self-imposed cuckoldry. Canada has been slitting its own wrists while being cheered on by the other countries of the world who, like leeches, see its bloodletting as an opportunity to feast. That’s a large part of the reason why Canada effectively became a crime-ridden series of Chinese-owned strip malls filled entirely with Indian-owned restaurants. “But at least we’re not Americ-ack!!”

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The Manhattan is a new media outlet combatting the Leftist narrative in NYC. We love The Big Apple, we want it to succeed and prosper and are committed to revealing how flawed ‘progressive’ policy is ruinous. As crime spikes, the homeless crisis balloons, schools continue to degrade, and quality of life plummets, we’re determined to help effectuate change. The Manhattan will fearlessly chronicle the problems and try to offer solutions. We won’t shy away from issues, we will lean into them.

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